THE PATHLESS PATH – AN INVITATION

Above Image: INVITATION

Oil on linen, h: 40cm x w: 40cm

When the sun emerges from a cloud, the invitation arrives. The sun momentarily lights up the invitation. I linger on the threshold and notice the pull of the forest. Eyes closed, I feel compelled to enter. Have you ever been invited into a forest by the forest itself? Has that path been presented to you? As you linger on the threshold, dare you enter? And where would you go? 

Imagine for a moment what it would be like to enter a forest community that is not human. There is no path and there is nowhere to go. Take time to notice the atmosphere of this community, and remember your difference. How do you introduce yourself? As a migrant, I wonder about these things a lot. I wonder and observe in the realm of humans, and in the bush.

It strikes me that painting too, is a walk on a pathless path. A practice where my senses come alive. Through my eyes I take in my subject and my thinking shifts to noticing the colour-shapes. I study the relationships between colour-shapes. They become the characters in a drama about to begin.

My paintings are built up in layers. After an initial layer of colour shapes, the next layer is filled with struggle and despondency. I try to navigate the relationship between elements in the painting, and in myself. This navigation is largely wordless and deeply felt. An occasional knowing arrives of what to do next and I seize it, momentarily feeling in control. Yet the painting remains an untameable wild creature with its own process. 

The third layer begins to feel a little more reassuring because a foundation exists. I am more confident. Yet niggling in the background is the question ‘have I walked this path before?’ I wonder if what I’m doing is a little too conscious and safe. I have doubts and scrape off parts of the painting. I end the day with the realisation that I don’t really know. In bed I remember the painting and rehearse the strokes. Thank goodness for sleep and night-time dreams.

A new morning a few weeks later, I face layer 4. Something in me knows how to complete the painting. I know how to finish something in myself, as I too am a manifestation of this process. This process is my life, painted over a longer time. Filled with excitement and marvel, I wonder, ‘how did such a painting emerge?’ Layer upon layer, so much more is present than I could consciously intend. Gratitude to imagination and dreams.

Reflecting on my off track experiences of bushwalking, I remember how easy it is to get lost, even with a map. A map is not the terrain, but it’s useful to have in order to know where you are in relation to things. My little gouache studies are like maps of looking experiences. They help me to navigate while painting off track.

Goucahe study on paper – INVITATION

Through the repeated experience of walking and painting, I’ve got to know the emotional ride of painting in layers, or kilometers travelled. Acceptance of where I am is key. I remember that the journey is not up to me alone, but imagination and dreams are always shaping the path. Dreams are collective, as is the forest or bush. Dropping my personal agenda can lead me to unimaginable and amazing places. I realise that I am not lost, because I can’t return to the start. As a migrant, a painter, bushwalker and ever-changing human, I don’t want to. I am just here, ready for the next step.

Thanks for reading my post 🙏🏾 Lynn