PRESENCE

Painting above: PRESENCE, h:45cm x 60cm,

Oil painting on linen mounted on aluminium panel.

I’ve been thinking about PRESENCE lately. What does the word mean? We have all heard the advice to ‘be present in the moment’, or we refer to someone else having ‘presence’. These ideas imply that presence is a deeply felt experience.

While I was in Finland during Spring, we experienced a snowstorm one night. The temperature plummeted. Next morning, I opened the door to be greeted by this small snow-laden tree (see featured image). My heart and eyes grew with wonder. I heard the word ‘presence’ float in.

As I stood before this tree, I felt its presence in the fleeting sunlight. Then came the questions. I wondered; 

‘Was it the tree that has presence?

Did the sunlight give the tree presence by spotlighting it?

Was I awakening to a new world, transformed by a snowstorm, that has presence?

Perhaps it was me, in awe, that was present to the moment? Perhaps I as a viewer, was able to receive the moment?

Or was presence an act of co-creation, where the tree, snowstorm, morning sunlight and I, were all in alignment?

I don’t have an answer, but I love all the questions. Presence is ineffable. The following Koan has been turning over in my consciousness.

‘When it is cold you should be a cold Buddha; when it is hot you should be a hot Buddha’. 

This koan suggests to me the wholeness of PRESENCE. When sadness is there, I am sad. When awe is there, I am in awe. Nothing is turned away in wholeness, and I am ready for the next thing that arises.

To make this painting, I consciously returned to the memory or body feeling, and painted from there. Painting helps me to see more clearly. I need the feeling in order to arrive at the image, and much of the process is not conscious. Yet my body wordlessly knows the experience and remembers. The image emerges through many small colour and shape adjustments made over time, through layers of paint. I realise that I am painting myself into alignment. 

When I feel aligned in my body, then I know the painting is complete.