Studio Musings
Warm, Round Morning
Dear Reader,
Some days it’s hard to paint, especially if I’ve had a small break. If I’m not painting every day I easily lose momentum. I wake in the morning feeling the effort to get my paints together and face the world to paint outside. I, like many painters suffer a performance anxiety when it comes to painting in public. I’m filled with thoughts like ‘I don’t know what I’m doing, can I just fake it? Should I bother? What if my painting is a failure? Then I check the weather to see if it will help me with an excuse. It’s crazy because I know this as a repeated experience. I’ve discovered a strategy through these difficult moments.
Firstly, I try to pack the night before because I know I’m slow in the early morning. I read something about painting before going to bed. I prepare my mindset. I start the morning with the intention to paint and don’t check my emails or look at Facebook. When I walk out of the door, I have my camera around my neck, sketchbook in hand, pencil in pocket and backpack on. Usually I have a destination checked out and planned. This preparation is so important as I set my intention and eliminate as many excuses as possible. I’ve tracked the procrastinator in me to work this out and I’ve learned that I hold belief systems that are somewhat unconscious and limiting.
I begin my expedition by looking and photographing things until my interest kicks in and I challenge myself to draw. Eventually the desire to use colour becomes urgent. As people walk past, I feel a little self-conscious while setting up my paints. They pretend that nothing unusual is happening as I cross my nervous edge. Once I start to paint, everyone disappears and I am lost in paint land.
My concentration is momentarily broken by a curious sniffing dog at my feet. It’s human calls it and waves. ‘Nice morning for a paint out!’
I reply; ‘Best studio I could ever have!’
People are really friendly. Once I was painting a tree from the roadside and the farmer drove up in his tractor for a chat. He shared his family history of the property and his love for the tree. In my performance anxiety, I forget the many interesting meetings that happen. I wouldn’t have these experiences if I wasn’t out there painting. I remember it’s my love of painting and people and stories that takes me out into world adventures.
The painting above was painted on one of these adventures in the Adelaide Parklands. It’s titled:
‘Warm, Round Morning’. It’s an oil painting on primed 300gm Fabriano paper.
19cm x 19cm (7 1/2″ x 7 1/2″) and is available on my website here http://lynnlobo.com/product/warm-round-morning/
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2 Comments
Cathy Bernatt
wow, the math questions to be able to post, always make me pause and have to get in touch with the part of me that hates being in “test” situations. I never performed well on those kind of tests. In fact, though I was in the top 1% of my class academically in high school, I got the 2nd worst score of all my senior classmates and got called down to the principal’s office to explain how that could even happen. But I go astray…
As I read about your process of engaging the procrastinator ghost and trying to slip past it to get outside to paint, I chuckled in resonance with so much of what you shared…but my environment was still inside, just crawling out of bed or even staying in bed, having put my pastels and watercolors right beside in case it really seemed to much to crawl out of bed and into the living room to the couch…I could still avoid the procrastination ghost by having them so close by and just reaching for them and creating upon waking up right from my bed.. And the fight to sometimes not open email or FB first and get distracted for an hour with that…I didn’t always win that fight.
What astounds me each day though is the space I enter and what emerges out of nothing. And the conversations that get sparked on FB through my postings or my own engagements with what emerges make my world more spacious and enlightened. Thank you Lynn because you have been a deep inspiration for me to go further out and further in with my own process with what I call my NOT ART Art! xxxCathy
Lynn Lobo
Oh Cathy, for years I’ve had a pack of textas (coloured marker pens as they are known in the USA) by my bed, knowing that sometimes thats the only time i will have that day to be really close to myself. First thing in the morning before words leave your mouth and before you leave your dreams is really special. I love seeing your not Art art.